Kristin Burke (00:00:00) – If you actually have to do the thing to become more confident. We often want to wait until we feel confident, but if we wait, we’re just going to keep waiting and that goal is going to pass the spine. We’re not going to achieve it. But when we start taking that action, we become more confident.

Chloe Dechow (00:00:20) – Hi, I’m Chloe Dechow and with more than a decade of experience working with thought leaders, I’ve witnessed firsthand the impact of conviction combined with purpose driven entrepreneurship. This podcast shows you how to authentically bring together leadership, equity, and marketing to build your authority so that you can grow your impact and scale your business. This is a space for elevating women’s voices and redefining what it means to be a thought leader. Together, we’ll unlock the potential of our bright voices and create a ripple effect of change that resonates far beyond the realms of business. This is the Bright Voices and Business podcast. Now let’s dive into today’s episode.

Kristin Burke (00:01:06) – Welcome back to the.

Chloe Dechow (00:01:07) – Bright Voices in Business.

Kristin Burke (00:01:09) – Podcast.

Chloe Dechow (00:01:10) – Today I am joined by Kristin Burke, who is a Goal Achievement Coach and the host of the Elite Achievement Podcast, where she collaborates with service based business owners who want to achieve their goals.

Chloe Dechow (00:01:22) – Kristin’s mission is to help others maximize their potential and achieve their definitions of success. Thanks for joining me, Kristin.

Kristin Burke (00:01:31) – Chloe. Thank you so much for the invitation. I am very excited to connect with you today and hopefully inspire your audience.

Chloe Dechow (00:01:39) – Yes, I think you are a fantastic person to come on because when we talk about thought leadership or businesses in general, a lot of us have really big goals that we want to achieve. And I use the word big kind of loosely, because I also think that people’s idea of a big goal can be very different from other people’s idea of a big goal. But I also know when we have big goals, it can be overwhelming. There can be a lot of feelings involved, a lot of setbacks naturally, because that’s part of the problem solving, part of what we do. And so I wanted to bring you on to just kind of like break this down, help people feel more confident and empowered to both set and achieve their goals and just create some space for this conversation.

Chloe Dechow (00:02:28) – So thank you so much for coming on.

Kristin Burke (00:02:30) – Well, talking about goals is one of my absolute favorite topics I can.

Chloe Dechow (00:02:35) – See I can see that before we dive into kind of like the nitty gritty of the conversation, can you just talk a little bit about like what is a goal achievement coach and what does that look like? Sure. Yeah.

Kristin Burke (00:02:47) – It’s not like I woke up one day and thought, I’m going to become a goal achievement coach. It’s really a neat story of how it came about. So, Khloe, I was working in financial services for about 15 years before I started my business, and I have been coaching financial advisors since 2009, so my work in the financial services industry allowed me to really go deep with coaching and development and training and leadership, and I truly fell in love with helping people close the gap between the goals that they set and the goals they achieve. And when I decided to start my business, I mean, there are just hundreds and thousands of business coaches in the marketplace.

Kristin Burke (00:03:24) – I want it to figure out a way to differentiate myself. And I thought, well, I love talking about goals. I love helping people think about big goals and set big goals and achieve big goals. I’m going to become a goal achievement coach and that was really how it was born. So as I mentioned, my job is to help close the gap between the goals that you set and the goals that you achieve. And that’s really a lot of the work that I do with my individual coaching clients.

Chloe Dechow (00:03:49) – Yeah. I’m curious if you could like share a couple goals. Obviously don’t get into like the client and who they are. Sure. Because I know we don’t want to do that as coaches. But I’m curious, like, what are some big goals that you’ve heard some of your clients come to you for?

Kristin Burke (00:04:01) – It’s fantastic. So I still, you know, given that I came from financial services, I naturally still work with a lot of financial advisors. And so there’s this one particular company that has a goal that’s called forum, and it’s essentially the top quartile, like the top, you know, 4%, 5% of financial advisors around the whole entire company.

Kristin Burke (00:04:21) – So I have several clients that are striving to achieve that goal. So kind of thinking about that, you know, big breakthrough is what they want to achieve. I have other clients that they want to double where they’re at from a production standpoint, so they really want to get to that next level. And I think that’s truly the common denominator with a lot of my clients, is that they built some success. They know they can do it, and they’re really looking for that coach to help hold them accountable, help brainstorm new ideas, discuss overcoming obstacles to get to that next level. Yeah, absolutely. So a lot.

Chloe Dechow (00:04:57) – Of it sounds like a lot of like revenue and financial, but also more like career or some of those like bigger professional leaps that people could take.

Kristin Burke (00:05:05) – Sure. Yeah. I’ve got you know, one of my clients was appointed a managing partner in financial services, and there are not a lot of women in that role. And so it’s been really incredible to be along her journey and help coach her to achieve.

Kristin Burke (00:05:18) – What she wanted to from a leadership perspective. But you got it. I do a ton of work with the business owners. They want to grow clientele. They want to increase their revenue. They want to make a bigger impact. And that’s where I can come along and help them out.

Chloe Dechow (00:05:30) – That’s so cool. As a former people manager, I really loved growing and developing people part of my job. So the fact that you get to do that full time is really cool.

Kristin Burke (00:05:39) – I am so lucky.

Chloe Dechow (00:05:40) – Yes, yes, it’s so cool. I’m curious because I recently had a conversation with a woman entrepreneur who also has big dreams and goals, and there was kind of this interesting kind of dynamic that she was trying to figure out, like, is this a dream or is this a goal of mine, and what is the difference? And so when I was preparing for our conversation today, I was like, oh my gosh, I should ask Kristin. Like her perspective on dreams versus goals and if there is a difference and if so, what is it and what can people kind of do or change their perspective on to be able to move towards what they want out of their life? So I’m curious, do you have a perspective on the difference between a dream and a goal?

Kristin Burke (00:06:24) – I think that’s a really great question.

Kristin Burke (00:06:25) – And when I think about a dream, I think of a wish, something that feels really exciting, but it almost feels more like a fantasy and a goal has a plan and you can take action. So there’s almost that level of execution. So your dreams can absolutely become goals. When you start to assign a deadline to achieve them, and you start thinking of your action plan and what you’re going to execute in order to make that goal a reality. But yet those dreams are kind of there, the wishes and the fantasies. And then if they’re really important, I would encourage you to turn them into an actual goal.

Chloe Dechow (00:07:01) – Yeah, I love that. It was interesting, this conversation, because it was almost like this switch flipped and she was like, wait, I think these are goals. And to me, a similarly like dreams feel like aspirations. They feel less tangible in nature and actually creating a goal from it, I think, is something that is a little more tangible and something to work towards.

Chloe Dechow (00:07:23) – So cool to hear that you also see it that way. It’s like dreams are great and like, let’s create something tangible for you to work towards from that. Yes. So how can somebody kind of gain clarity on what is their most meaningful goal? Right. Because we can have so many, we can have so many goals and so many things that we’re working towards and trying to take action towards. And we also only have so much time in our life to accomplish certain things, and we have to figure out what’s most important to us. So I’m curious, like if somebody is trying to do all the things or even figure out what they really want, like how can they get some clarity on what’s going to move the needle the most for them?

Kristin Burke (00:08:06) – Yeah, that’s a really good question. And I know a lot of times as business owners we have multiple goals, right? We’re thinking of multiple different goals for our business. And then you start to layer on the personal and then the family. And it can start to feel really overwhelming.

Kristin Burke (00:08:19) – So I recommend that anytime someone wants to get clear on their most meaningful goal, that they go through what I call my four effective steps to setting goals or for processes to setting goals. So first it starts with vision. So going back and thinking about what’s important to me long term. And I know it can be really difficult for people to vision. I’ve heard I can’t see that far into the future. I don’t know what it is that I want. And one of the things that’s really interesting is fear and lack of confidence will almost start to come into the visioning process, and we have to get really good at stopping that. And like silencing the fear and the lack of confidence so we can really, truly identify what it is that you want. But it starts with long term vision, thinking about where you want your life to be, whether it’s three years, five years, seven years or ten years from now and getting that clarity, then Khloe, once you have that vision in place now, I recommend you go through a reflection.

Kristin Burke (00:09:13) – I’ve become quite a fan of yoga. And so there’s this principle in yoga that the answers are always within. And I think so often in today’s busy lifestyle, we just don’t take the time to pause and get really clear with ourselves. And if you go through a reflection, you start to understand a lot about your goal setting tendencies and your goal achieving behaviors. And you start learning why you achieve some goals and you don’t other goals, and that helps you set more meaningful goals for the future. So we’re clear in our vision, gone through a reflection. Now start to brainstorm. I think one of the other mistakes we’ll make when it comes to setting goals is we’ll set goals because other people are doing that goal, or we think we should set that goal. And it’s not necessarily the goal that’s really meaningful or driving us. And if you give yourself that space to brainstorm, and I always recommend you brainstorm and pillars, pillars that are important for your life. So you might choose to have business goals and professional goals and personal goals and family goals.

Kristin Burke (00:10:14) – Faith goals, health goals. But someone else might choose to have different. Pillars and we can’t have 25 pillars. I mean, I guess you could you would just be doing a lot of work to set and achieve those goals. But I recommend, you know, keep it simple or 5 to 6 pillars. And then you can set a couple goals in each of those pillars. And that makes it more achievable. And then the last part of this four part effective goal setting process is that you have a plan. And this is another area where I think people become really good at setting goals. Like that’s the fun part, right? Dreaming and visioning and there’s all this energy. And then if you don’t have a plan, then you’re likely not going to achieve your goal. You’re really leaving it up to chance. So vision, reflect, brainstorm and plan. If you go through the four part effective goal setting process, you are going to get really clear on the goals that are meaningful for you.

Chloe Dechow (00:11:04) – Yes, I can see how actually taking time to think and reflect is a really important first step.

Chloe Dechow (00:11:12) – And I love that you called out the fact that if we’re not careful, we can adopt other people’s goals, and naturally we’re not going to be as excited to achieve those goals because they don’t feel, you know, in alignment for ourselves. So I think it’s really smart to call out that, where are these goals coming from? Part of that, that process is really important. I also want to talk about the fear in the confidence piece, because as you were talking, it reminded me of the fact that when we do have some people call it the inner critic, the saboteur, like basically the voice that comes and says, like, you can’t do this or that’s crazy, or, you know, whatever kind of negative thoughts might come up which are really a part of a protecting you like it’s a part of our subconscious to protect us. And usually when they show up, it means we’re on to something like there’s something we’re doing that is stretching us and growing us. And the fact that they’re present, that fear or that, like lack of confidence is present is usually some sort of sign that we’re actually onto some sort of growth opportunity for ourselves.

Chloe Dechow (00:12:14) – So just want to acknowledge and like normalize that. That’s totally part of the goal setting process as well.

Kristin Burke (00:12:22) – Oh, 1,000%. And one of the things I’ve started thinking about and talking about is let’s party with fear. So often we don’t want to feel fear. And again, like you mentioned, we want to keep ourselves safe. But when you actually start to party with fear. Now let’s be clear. I’m not talking about go hang out in the woods and like, try to fight a bear. That’s not the type of fear we’re partying with. But if you’re pitching yourself to be on a podcast or you want to write a book or whatever it is that that you’re starting to feel afraid of, when you party with fear, you actually start to desensitize yourself to that fear. And one of the things I’ve noticed slowly, I don’t know if you felt the same, is you have all this fear. You make it out to be this huge thing in your mind. You do the thing and it wasn’t even like a fraction of as bad as your mind made it out to be.

Kristin Burke (00:13:09) – Absolutely.

Chloe Dechow (00:13:11) – That’s so true. Our minds are sneaky. They play really good tricks on us to keep us safe. And yet there are some smart ways to get around that. I know you mentioned as part of your process, that having a plan is a really important part of actually achieving your goals, and so I want to talk about the distinction quickly around goal setters versus goal achievers. And what really is the difference between people who set the goal. They might have really great intentions, but they actually don’t make, you know, don’t achieve the goal. And then the people who actually do hit their goals and grow from there. Yes.

Kristin Burke (00:13:51) – I’ve noticed that there are four characteristics of goal achievers clarity, confidence, courage, and consistency. So we’ve talked a little bit in our conversation about clarity around having a vision and getting clear on the goals that are important to you, but clarity is really significant because it helps us understand what you want and why you want it, and the clear you are with why this goal is meaningful to you, or what it’s going to do for your business, or how it’s going to move you closer to your vision, the more likely you are to party with fear or do the things that you don’t want to do to achieve this goal.

Kristin Burke (00:14:27) – But I found that if you don’t have a lot of clarity, if that clarity is lacking, that’s when it’s really easy to give up. Or you’ll tell yourself, well, it wasn’t that big of a deal to me. I didn’t really want to achieve that goal. All those stories that we start to create. So clarity really foundational for becoming a goal achiever. And we’ll talk a little bit more about confidence. And I define confidence on the goal achievement journey as when who you think you are aligns with action in order to achieve your goals. And here’s something that I’ve had to learn, I think really the hard way with confidence. If you actually have to do the thing to become more confident, we often want to wait until we feel confident, but if we wait, we’re just going to keep waiting and that goal is going to pass is fine. We’re not going to achieve it. But when we start taking that action, we become more confident. I’m sure you feel that way as a podcast host, you know, with your podcast and I bet.

Kristin Burke (00:15:18) – With every episode, you start growing more confident. That’s true for me. Then there’s courage and courage on the goal. Achievement journey is when you embrace discomfort to grow in the direction of your goals. We’ve talked a little bit about that and the importance of when you are feeling discomfort. You’re really on to something. You’re growing, you’re taking that risk. You’re getting to that next level. And I think so often on our goal achievement journey, we would rather that feeling not be there. And we maybe think, oh, I’m doing something wrong. But really courage is you recognize it, it’s there and you’re going to go after and party with that fear and do the thing anyways. And then lastly is consistency. And this this is a big one, Khloe. Because people will have a goal, they’ll start making progress and things don’t work out and they give up. And consistency is all about when you repeat the actions, the habits and the behaviors that are going to lead to goal achievement. And we have to ditch perfection as it relates to consistency.

Kristin Burke (00:16:13) – So I think one way that a lot of people really start to understand consistency is if you think about the start of a new year, a lot of people set health goals and they’re like, all right, this is the year I’m going to work out every day. I’m going to meditate every day. I’m going to drink all the water. I’m never eating sugar. And they layer all this pressure onto themselves. And then they do it for 1 or 2 days and something, you know, they slip up, there’s donuts in the office or whatever, and they eat it and they slip up. And that’s not the point of consistency. It’s if you get off track, can you get right back at it the next day? So we really want to close that gap between when you didn’t do the thing last and when you do it again and just normalize. We are humans. It’s going to be imperfect. We don’t need to strive for 100%. So clarity, confidence, courage and consistency are really important characteristics of goal achievers.

Kristin Burke (00:17:03) – Yeah.

Chloe Dechow (00:17:03) – And I could see the consistency one being hard because we do tend to have like this all or nothing mentality around things. So like if something doesn’t go the way we thought it would or we’re not all the way ready or all the way whatever, then we tend to choose nothing over consistent small actions towards our goals. So I know I’ve fallen into that trap before too. I’m curious because when I’ve taken personality tests or things like that, consistency tends to be a hard one for me. Like that is a challenge for me, and I think part of it is because I’m a person who thrives on variety. I like fast pace, I like big picture. And I’ve learned that, you know, showing up consistently on social media or whatever it might be. It can be kind of challenging for me. So I’m curious for the clients that come to you who do thrive more on variety and maybe spontaneity and things like that. And consistency is maybe less natural for them. What advice you would give to somebody who knows consistency is important and yet it doesn’t always feel aligned with doing that.

Kristin Burke (00:18:13) – So first, I think it’s important to define what consistent mean. So we’ll go back to your example. You mentioned showing up on social media. So when you think about I want to be on social media consistently, what does that mean to you is that every day is at three times a week. So first we have to just define what consistency means to you. And then clearly what I think is interesting about the example you shared is how can you be spontaneous in the ways you consistently show up. So it doesn’t have to be one or the other? Like we can integrate that desire to be spontaneous and to be creative and to mix it up. Let’s make that part of your strategy. So maybe your social media strategy is, hey, I’m going to do a story and here’s I’m going to do a video and here’s where I’m not going to plan anything out, I’m just going to go whatever I’m feeling that I want to share that day. So I think you can build your strategy around those characteristics that are important to you and who you think you are.

Kristin Burke (00:19:10) – Yeah, I love that.

Chloe Dechow (00:19:10) – It’s that all or nothing sneaky. All or nothing again. Right. Like you’re showing up seven days a week and the exact same way or nothing at all. And really, it is just a blend, right? A blend of the different ways of working. I also know that consistency. In other podcast interviews, we’ve talked about different forms of marketing and thought leadership and all these other kind of avenues, and the key theme has been consistency. In a lot of ways. I was like, consistency breeds trust. Trust with your audience, trust with your customers, trust with other people. And so what I’m kind of hearing from you is like consistency. Yes, it builds trust with other people, but also builds trust with yourself that you can do these things, that you can keep showing up.

Kristin Burke (00:19:55) – One of the most important things you can do to build your confidence is to follow through on what it is you say you’re going to do. So if you set out any given week and your intention is to post three times and you do it, you start to build that trust with yourself that, hey, I can do the big things and I can follow through.

Kristin Burke (00:20:12) – And you know, as you’re talking about consistency with showing up, I think another mistake we might. Make is we try to show up in all the places. So there’s so many different social media platforms, and you can write a blog and you can host a podcast and you can be on YouTube. And I think that we try to show up in all the places and then that minimizes our consistency. So I know one thing that’s worked really well for me and my team is we take these are the two social media platforms we’re going to show up on, and we’re going to have a podcast, and those are going to be our big, consistent efforts. In terms of marketing.

Chloe Dechow (00:20:47) – Yes, yes. It’s also a really good reminder because it’s impossible to be everywhere. I mean, people might think that you’re everywhere when you’re not to. I’ve had that where like, oh, I keep seeing you here and there and here and there and I’m like, oh, I didn’t, I didn’t even know that.

Chloe Dechow (00:21:00) – So that brand visibility piece is important. And you can show up consistently for an audience if you’re spread too thin. So I think it’s a really good reminder that consistency is easier to do if you focus on a couple of things versus trying to do all the things at once. So we know that consistency helps to strengthen our mindset around goal achievement. What other things really help to strengthen our mindset so that it’s easier, or at least more effective for us to achieve our goals?

Kristin Burke (00:21:32) – You know, one of the things that’s really interesting is that you cannot process gratitude and anxiety at the same time. So it’s like your brain can’t do a bolt. So one of the things that I’ve noticed is if I I’m starting to go down the negative thoughts and why am I? I just woke up. Why are the first things I’m thinking super negative? I can easily transition to thinking, okay, what are five things I’m grateful for yesterday? And that’s what’s really neat about a practice of gratitude is yes, I do write it down.

Kristin Burke (00:22:01) – I have a journal. Not every day, but every day. You can simply think, what am I grateful for? Or look for those good moments of the day? And I think that can really help strengthen your mindset. But another thing that can really help strengthen your mindset on the goal achievement journey is really learning to rewrite negative mental narrative. So we talked a little bit about the inner critic or those stories that we start to tell ourselves. I think it’s important that you learn to test the validity of those stories. So when you find yourself having all those negative thoughts that are going to derail your goals, pause and ask yourself, what proof do I have? So do you have actual proof that the story you’re telling yourself is true? Because chances are you have zero proof. Or if you have proof, it might be just a tiny, tiny bit of proof where you have a lot of proof on the opposite side that it’s actually like worked more times than it hasn’t. So that question, what proof do I have can be really powerful.

Kristin Burke (00:23:01) – But then also you can follow up and ask yourself, well, well, what do I want to do about this? So let’s say you do have some proof you can. What do I want to do about this. Because you can either hey, keep thinking the thing that’s holding you back, or b you can start thinking in a different way and move in the direction of your goal. So I think a lot of it is truly going back and just pausing and stop thinking all of these crazy thoughts. And I, I was just listening to a podcast last week. The podcast is called The Mindset Mentor. Awesome episodes that I’ve really stumbled across. If you’re someone who wants to do more work on mindset, but the host of this podcast was reminding us that we are not our thoughts. And so that’s so important to remind yourself that just because you’re thinking it, it doesn’t mean it’s true, doesn’t mean it’s who you are. And so learning to rewrite those negative mental narratives, I think it’s really important.

Chloe Dechow (00:23:57) – Yeah, I love that. And I also think there’s something to be said about asking yourself really powerful questions to you. I think there’s a quote out there of like, the quality of your life depends on the quality of the questions you ask yourself. Don’t quote me word for word on that one, but I’ll share like an example. So, you know, entrepreneurship is not for the faint of heart. Anyone listening here knows that. And you know, every once in a while I might have a moment where I’m like, why did I leave my job? But what was I thinking? I’m crazy. What am I doing? This could be a huge flop. I’m a failure. All these other things. And so when I do notice myself kind of going down that little rabbit hole, now, what I do is I say, what if this is the best decision you’ve ever made? What if this is the best thing for your family? What if this is the best thing for your career? What if this just up levels your life? Beyond your realm of possibility at this point in time, and even just the energy and the questions is such a shift for me.

Chloe Dechow (00:24:54) – I’ll be like, oh, what if, what if? And then I feel like I act differently, I show up differently. I say different things, I take different actions, I set different goals. And so I love this idea of being really smart about your thoughts and what thoughts you give energy to. And again, like, yes, you’re not your thoughts, it’s just a part of your mind. And you can choose the thoughts that you have and choose what you want to believe as well. And so I just want to like give a practical example of the types of questions you could ask yourself, or the types of thoughts you could have that could shift your energy as well in what you’re doing.

Kristin Burke (00:25:31) – I’m so glad you bring that up, because there is a negativity bias, and if we’re not intentional and we’re not careful, we’re going to overemphasize on the negative. We’re going to remember all the bad things that happen, all the worst case scenarios. And I love that you bring those questions and gave those examples.

Kristin Burke (00:25:47) – I often talk about power questions and the two power questions. You can ask yourself, what’s the worst that can happen and what’s the best that can happen? And it’s so important you actually ask, what’s the best that can happen? Because your mind’s not going to go there by itself. We have to bring that intentionality closely. What I found is that so often for so many people, the actual fear or the actual worst case scenario lies in not going after the best that can happen. So it’s no longer about all those fear stories you’re telling yourself, but it’s once you realize all the best case, you’re like, Holy cow, that’s going to be horrible if I don’t at least try to go after that.

Chloe Dechow (00:26:24) – Yeah, the the opportunity cost or the missed opportunity of what’s in front of them. Yeah. That’s so absolutely true. What? Outside of not pursuing your goals because you let fear and, you know, a lack of confidence or whatever get in the way. Like what are some other things that tend to become stumbling blocks for people, that weakens their mindset or prevents them from pursuing, you know, their goals and achieving them?

Kristin Burke (00:26:53) – And this is probably closely related to confidence, but I feel like it’s really important that we talk about this.

Kristin Burke (00:26:58) – I think people focus way too much on all the reasons why they’re not qualified versus why they are qualified. So what I mean by that is we’ll spend all the time thinking about all the reasons why we can’t do the thing, or we’re not tenured enough, or we’re not credentialed enough, or we’re not smart enough, or all these reasons why we can’t do whatever it is we want to do. But when was the last time you actually pause and listed out all the reasons why you are qualified and you’re pulling in all of your life experiences, not just maybe your business, like your fraction of business. But what did you do your entire life leading up to the point where you started a business? So remembering all of the reasons why you are qualified is so critically important. And then I also think you have to keep in mind that the value that you bring. So this is another way that we can, you know, from a mindset standpoint, get in our own ways and get off track with our goals.

Kristin Burke (00:27:51) – We have to remember that value that we bring. And and if you’re someone who’s working in business, like like I mentioned, I work with a lot of clients who have client based businesses ask for feedback. And it’s so powerful. Even as a coach, if I asked at the end of one of my coaching sessions, what are you taking away from today’s conversation? It is such an incredible way to get feedback and to think, oh, I brought value versus leaving that coaching session and wondering, okay, what value did I bring? Or you can simply just ask, what are you taking away? And you recognize that value. So I think remembering why you’re qualified in the value that you bring are huge, especially I know a lot of your listeners, they want to get picked up by the media. They want to be featured in the media. I think that’s foundational, that you remember those two things in order to make those goals happen.

Chloe Dechow (00:28:38) – Yeah, I love that. I had one client. This is the first time I had heard this term, but I’m sure it’s used more widely and I would do something similar.

Chloe Dechow (00:28:46) – But she was like she wanted to have like a central place to save all of these pieces of good feedback and things to remember, so that when she had a moment of self-doubt or anxiety or whatever, she could open up a document and see all the wonderful things about her and be reminded of her in a better mindset, or her, you know, where she was operating as her true self versus the critical, self-doubting part of herself. And so she called this a brag sheet. And I love this idea of having this kind of brag sheet where you can pull it up when you’re having a day of, you know, inner crisis or whatever it might be, you know, feeling like you’re not being your real self or being able to show up as your real self and having a reminder of all the wonderful things people have said about you, whether it’s, you know, friends or family or former clients having reminders of all the credentials that you’ve accumulated, you know, all these different things that demonstrate that you are valuable and you are making an impact and you’re contributing.

Chloe Dechow (00:29:50) – Right. I think it’s so easy for us to get in our own heads and forget all of those wonderful things about ourselves. So I would recommend anybody who that resonates with as a listener to create your own sort of brag sheet and save that to your desktop or wherever you’re going to be able to pull it up and remember it when you’re having one of those crappy days that are that are bringing you down.

Kristin Burke (00:30:13) – Yeah, I love that you bring that up. One of my mentors and I look up to this woman so much. I mean, she’s literally built in, sold like million dollar businesses, and she does a ton of work creating a community for women. And I just she’s written books to me. She’s done all the things. And I remember she still to this day has her like, wins in her positive feedback file in her notes, because she also has to go back and remind herself. And I thought, oh my gosh, here’s someone in my mind that’s like, totally made it and is super, super successful.

Kristin Burke (00:30:47) – And she still struggling with some of the same things we all are.

Chloe Dechow (00:30:51) – Yes, it’s a good reminder that we’re all human. Yeah, we can put people on a pedestal who have achieved these amazing things and kind of forget that they’re human. And at the end of the day, they also have an inner critic. Yes, I think a lot of people think, oh, we’ll just get rid of it. Like the inner critic will go away. No, it never goes away. It’s literally part of your subconscious. And so it’s not about getting rid of it. It’s about like, how do you work with it and tell it to go be quiet or tell it to go sit down and that you’ve got it and basically like, nurture it because it’s a part of you trying to keep you safe. But at the same time it’s not serving you anymore. And so, yeah, not trying to get rid of it altogether because it’s not going to happen. So. Can we talk about big goals? Like, is there such a thing as having too big of a goal? Like what? What’s your stance on that?

Kristin Burke (00:31:40) – I don’t think there’s I mean, gosh, even when you just said that, is there too big of a goal and like, well, it kind of sounds less energizing, you know, did not think of of really big goals.

Kristin Burke (00:31:49) – But I think what can be really helpful for some of us when we have a really big goal is to break it down and consider the milestone goals along the way. So if a really big goal might be to be interviewed on Good Morning America, well, what are the things that you need to do between now and landing that interview to get on Good Morning America. So I don’t think that there’s such a thing as having too big of a goal. We probably just again, need to have a plan, right? Have a timeline. And then are you very clear on what it’s going to take to achieve that goal? And I don’t think people are as clear on what it takes to achieve goals from time to time. Yeah.

Chloe Dechow (00:32:30) – Like, you know, with social media and things like that. I think there’s a tendency to think things happen overnight for people, and really they don’t see the behind the scenes of all the work it takes to get from A to B. Yes. Yeah. Having more realistic expectations of what the plan is to get to the goal rather than making the goal smaller, is what I’m hearing right?

Kristin Burke (00:32:51) – Exactly, exactly.

Kristin Burke (00:32:52) – And I’m so glad you bring up social media too, because there are so many great things about social media. It’s a fantastic way to create a brand for yourself. It’s a great way to create a community, but wow, can it also be such a disservice in such a hindrance on mindset? And anytime you go on social media, just reminding yourself you’re not seeing the whole story, so you have no idea what was going on before that post went out. Or most of the posts are probably even scheduled and everything that happens. If you’re following these really big influencers, it’s important to remember we don’t know all the things that are going on, and you should not compare your beginning to someone else’s middle or someone else’s end.

Chloe Dechow (00:33:35) – Yes, and the middle or end for them might not be what it looks like either. So even some of our online business experts and course builders and those with huge followings making lots of money every year, they still have moments of burnout and stress and depression and all those things.

Chloe Dechow (00:33:53) – And so again, it’s a humanizing, like you can have big goals and also like have a life that has other areas that you’re working on. So yes, I think that’s important to remember too, in this goal setting journey.

Kristin Burke (00:34:06) – And also too, I love that you bring up these big influencers, talk all the time about revenue. When was the last time you heard him talk about the expenses to run their business and what their actual profit is? So I know I for the longest time was way too hung up on I want to have a seven figure business because it sounded like really sexy. And there aren’t a lot of women that have seven figure businesses. And then I also realized, wait, I’m a mama, I’m a wife, I have hobbies, there are other things I want to do. I might have a seven figure business, but if I’m going to bring in the same amount of profit I’m bringing in right now with multiple six figures, I like my time and my freedom. So again, I think it’s going back to that clarity piece and that vision and the reflection getting really, really clear on what’s important to you, especially if you’re going to be using social media and seeing what other people are doing.

Chloe Dechow (00:34:55) – Yeah, yeah, that’s a great point. It’s not adopting other people’s goals. Again. And I think one of the questions that have been helpful for me when I’m the client in a coaching session has been, you know, what’s important about that goal to you? Because that gives me a moment to be like, wait a second, is this actually my goal or is this somebody else’s? Why am I setting this goal? What is going to be, you know, the ripple effect on other areas of my life. And like all those kind of questions, help do a reset to make sure it makes sense for me in my life and my season of life, too, as a, as a mom as well. So I think that’s a really great point. So let’s say somebody is working on a goal and they’re feeling really excited about the goal. And then over time, their excitement starts to fade because naturally, I think we get really excited at the beginning of something. And and then as time goes on, we might lose sight of the goal or we might feel less enthusiastic about it.

Chloe Dechow (00:35:56) – How can somebody kind of maintain their motivation and still gain momentum towards what they really want to achieve?

Kristin Burke (00:36:04) – Yeah, that’s a really great question. And you’re so spot on. It’s like the goal setting is super fun and energizing. And even maybe like week one, you’re like, hey, this is going great. But then all of a sudden you might face some infirmity or, you know, life just starts to happen and the goal starts to fade and starts to become a little less exciting. So here’s what I recommend. So one, I think it’s again really important to break that goal down into smaller steps. And so that way you can have achievements. Along the way. So if you’re going after a goal that’s going to take you a year. It’s a really long time, right. And we live in this like instant gratification world right now where you click a button on Amazon and the package is on your door sometimes same day. So it’s really important to break it down and to create these mini celebration points along the way.

Kristin Burke (00:36:51) – And that’s the other thing I’ve noticed. And I think women especially have a very hard time recognizing wins and progress. And I always promote a ritual called the Friday Ritual. So I think it’s really important at the end of the week that you close out your week, and in the Friday ritual, it’s super easy. There’s only three steps, but step one is you identify your wins for the week, because that’s the other thing to do with achieving a really big goal, especially a goal that takes time and you don’t recognize the actual progress that you’re making and all the things that you’re doing to get you closer to achieving that goal. But if every week you’ve got a journal full of all of your wins, and in the second step of the Friday ritual are the lessons you learned along the way. And then the third step are your priorities for next week. This Friday ritual inspires confidence and courage and consistency. Those characteristics we were talking about earlier in our conversation. So break it down and celebrate along the way and that’s going to help you maintain momentum.

Chloe Dechow (00:37:49) – I love the idea of having a ritual, because I am totally guilty of not stopping and celebrating big or small wins. I feel like it came a lot more naturally in a kind of corporate environment, where it was part of the culture to stop and celebrate, maybe sometimes a little less of a celebration than it should have been, but it was still celebrated and acknowledged. And as an entrepreneur, we really have to do that for ourselves. And so having some sort of routine where we’re doing that regularly makes a whole heck of a lot of sense to me, and I think I’m going to adopt that approach. I love that idea. And what a better way to end your workweek than to look back and look at everything that you’ve accomplished and find gratitude, even in the small moments as well. The small wins. So I love that idea. I’m curious too. We’ve been talking about maintaining motivation towards a goal, especially if there is a long road ahead to get to what we want to achieve. When can somebody know that it’s okay to switch gears, like when a goal is no longer aligned for them? When is it okay for them to, you know, quote unquote give up, so to speak?

Kristin Burke (00:39:03) – Yes.

Kristin Burke (00:39:04) – This is such an important question because I don’t know about you, but I think there was a point in time where I believe, like once you set your goals like, that’s it, you can’t give up on your goals. And I I’m so grateful for growth and development. And, you know, it’ll be fun to go back and listen to this podcast a few years from now because I might have different thoughts, right? We’re all just continuing to grow and evolve. But where I’ve really landed with this question today is that you have to check in with your vision, and if the goal is still connected with that long term vision and the bigger picture of what you’re building, where you’re trying to go, don’t give up on the goal, but rather adjust your strategies. Adjust the timeline, you know? Yes, you might have set the goal that haven’t done this calendar year, but if you’re wildly off track and the goal is still important, is it going to matter if it really gets done in June next year versus December of this year? Probably not.

Kristin Burke (00:39:57) – Chances are, it’s probably not. So if it’s still connected to the vision change strategy, adjust the date. If you’re looking at that goal and you’re checking in with your vision and you’re like, I have grown into a whole different person, this goal no longer serves me by all means, rewrite a goal that’s going to serve you, and that’s going to be more motivating. So that’s kind of my check in is if does it relate to your vision? And speaking of checking in, I think it’s incredibly important that you check in with your goal multiple times throughout a year. And I think this is another thing that’s going to help you achieve your goals. So if at the end of every month you’re doing a very intentional month end review and you’re rewriting all your goals and you’re checking on your progress, you might be less tempted to give up because you’re going to be less off track. You’re kind of going to know where you’re at, and you’re going to be able to adjust along the way. And then I also recommend a big quarterly review.

Kristin Burke (00:40:52) – And I think that’s really important to do as you’re nearing each quarter. And you can be really intentional and strategic with what you want to get done in the next quarter.

Chloe Dechow (00:41:00) – Yeah, I love that. And I also think from my experience, sometimes we think we’re further away from meeting our goal than we actually are. Like, we have it in our heads that we haven’t done certain things or hit certain data points or whatever, and then we take the time to actually look back. I’m like, oh, wait, actually, that’s doing way better than I thought it was. So having those dedicated days on the calendar makes sense, and I know we did that in my agency career was having strategic planning days at least once a quarter to just make sure that we were headed in the direction we wanted to and deal with things. We’re popping up that we’re getting in the way and needed some problem solving too. So having space on your calendar to be intentional and strategic is super important. It’s also funny this came up for me as you were talking, but when people pursue goals that no longer feel aligned to me like what? This is so random.

Chloe Dechow (00:41:54) – But what came up for me was like, when people are reading a book that they don’t like, but they feel like they have to finish it, I’m like, I have like a whole pile of like, did not finish books like am I have my time is precious and I’m not. If I’m not enjoying the book, like I’m not gonna keep reading the book, but there’s some people that they’re like, no, I have to finish the book. I have to finish the book. To me, there’s almost a parallel between like finishing a movie or finishing a book or whatever it might be that like you actually don’t like at all. And then maybe also like pursuing goals that no longer feel aligned to you and spending time doing that. Can you talk about that? I’m sure there’s like a parallel here between continuing down a path that doesn’t make sense for you anymore.

Kristin Burke (00:42:35) – That’s so funny. You bring that up because I fall victim to once I get far enough ahead in the book, I just I have to finish it.

Kristin Burke (00:42:42) – And I think clearly that the achiever in me, and it just feels so satisfying to like, flip that last page because yes, I’m an actual like, book reader and I, you know, Dog Year, the books and all that and flip the last page. So I definitely, definitely fall victim to that. And I remember chatting with a girlfriend once who shared with me, well, if you get 60 pages in, you might as well just finish it. And so there’s no like rhyme or reason. It’s totally an arbitrary number to read 60 pages. But that’s I think some of our searches are really hard wired, and I think it goes back somewhat to that all or nothing thinking and perfectionism. And I really can fall victim to perfectionism. So I think it’s a lot in that camp as well. And I can see how that can definitely, definitely play in to your goals. But there have been years where I’ve been doing my month and Gold review and I’m like, I’m literally making zero progress to this.

Kristin Burke (00:43:36) – Is it important to me? And sometimes you know what you’ll find too, when you’re doing these reviews and you’re not making progress. And it is still important. There’s there are emotion that comes up that you have to deal with as well. And so I just can’t say enough about doing a month end review or quarterly review. And the more you do these reviews, the more you’re going to learn about yourself and your goal achieving tendencies and behaviors. And that is all valuable information you can use as you continue to set new goals moving forward.

Chloe Dechow (00:44:06) – Yeah, data that can inform your decisions for sure.

Kristin Burke (00:44:09) – Yeah.

Chloe Dechow (00:44:10) – Can you talk a little bit about like the sunk cost fallacy of pursuing something that no longer is relevant to what we want to do, but because we put so much time and energy and like money and all this stuff into it, we keep going down the path even though it’s not actually meant for us anymore. Can you speak to when somebody can kind of identify if they’re stuck in the sunk cost fallacy kind of mentality?

Kristin Burke (00:44:36) – Yeah, that’s a really interesting thought.

Kristin Burke (00:44:38) – And I think you get to this place where you’ve invested time, energy, effort, money, and you’re like, when is it right to pivot or when should I give up and when should I move on? And honestly, I wonder if this is where having a coach can help you figure that out. And having someone who’s not as emotionally invested can help you just look at the situation from a very different perspective. And also, do I wonder if this is where looking at some hard data can be really helpful? And if you look at, hey, what is the investment you have made versus what is the monetary return? And you start looking at those two numbers and you’re like, oh, you know, that might be motivating to help you get out of continuing to invest.

Chloe Dechow (00:45:23) – Yeah, yeah. It’s like letting the data point you in the right direction. And I also think like sometimes we’re in those positions because it’s what stems a more creative, innovative way to do something. Like we have to go through like the thick of it and get stuck in the messy middle sometimes in order to have the next best idea.

Chloe Dechow (00:45:43) – And so it just trying to share the gift that can happen when we when we get stuck in those moments, those are hard, hard moments to be in.

Kristin Burke (00:45:51) – Well, and I can share a personal example. So a couple of years ago, I partnered up with two other women and we created a mastermind, and we ran it a certain way. You know, it was a three month program. We did two cohorts of that, and then one of the women in the group really wanted to change the whole format. Okay. So we changed the whole format and we ran it that way. And one of the members ended up, you know, stepping away from the group, and it was me and the other women were continuing to keep this moving forward. And at a point last year, I just realized this is actually draining my energy. It’s like when I look at all the tasks that I get to do in a week, and this one, you know, whatever work I was doing.

Chloe Dechow (00:46:32) – That this mastermind would come.

Kristin Burke (00:46:33) – Up, and I just was no longer feeling energized, and I was no longer feeling called. And I realized one of the reasons I said yes to this partnership originally was I didn’t have the confidence at the time to go out and do something like this on my own. So I’m like, hey, this is definitely something I want to learn from my business. And it felt very aligned. You know, I liked what we were building and going after. And when I step back now, I realize I went through that whole experience. So not only learn a lot so I can coach other people and guide other people, but also I was doing that and now I’m able to do other things for my business. And so it’s not always totally a sunk cost. It just might be pivoting you in a different direction. And I needed so many of those lessons to grow my own confidence or my own experience, or the content that I created. I can now use in different ways. I wouldn’t have any of that unless I’ve said yes and yes.

Kristin Burke (00:47:29) – You know, then I started investing a lot of time and money, and it ended up not being the right thing. And, you know, having to walk away and stop that mastermind. But I look back now and I’m grateful for that experience.

Chloe Dechow (00:47:40) – Yeah, I think that also helps. And I’ve had this too with my my own thoughts. But I’ve heard a lot of women entrepreneurs have to start doing something else or end a relationship like a partnership, or let a client go or whatever it might be. There’s this kind of mentality that they have to start all over, like starting from zero, starting from scratch. It’s like, no, there’s so many like good, juicy learnings from that experience that will make you get to your goal faster, better, more efficiently because you’ve already been through it. So now you know what doesn’t work and you won’t go down that path again. So it’s that whole like rejection is redirection. You’re going to get there faster and better because you’ve been through that challenging experience.

Kristin Burke (00:48:27) – Absolutely.

Chloe Dechow (00:48:28) – Yeah. Awesome. Well, where can people find you, Kristin, to get support from someone like you. Do you have a social media website? Where can they get in contact?

Kristin Burke (00:48:40) – Yeah. Thanks so much for the opportunity to share. A great place to go learn about all the things is on my website, which is Kristin Barkham. There you’ll find free resources to help you achieve your goals. You’ll be able to find a link to my podcast which is called Elite Achievement. If you like what you heard today, it’s a great place to go get more goal achieving and business growing insight. And then if you’re on social media, you can follow me @meetkristinburke, and I look forward to connecting.

Chloe Dechow (00:49:07) – Awesome. Thank you so much, Kristin for coming on and sharing all your wisdom and tools. There’s a lot of really good, tangible takeaways for our listeners today. So thank you. Thank you so much for coming on.

Kristin Burke (00:49:20) – I am so thrilled that there are tangible takeaways that our listeners can take and go start their Friday ritual and put in place some of those goal achievement, best practices.

Kristin Burke (00:49:28) – So Chloe, thank you for the opportunity. Thank you.

Chloe Dechow (00:49:35) – Thank you for joining me today. If you enjoyed this episode, invite your entrepreneur friends to tune in. Don’t forget to connect with me on Instagram at West Haven Coaching. I would absolutely love to hear your thoughts on today’s episode and continue the conversation with you there. And before you go, be sure to download my free guide, Five Steps to Building Your Authentic Authority, which will walk you through how to grow your thought leadership in a way that’s true to who you are and what you stand for. You can find the guide at www.westhavencoaching.com/steps or follow the link in the show notes. Thanks again for tuning in. Together we are changing the faces and voices of thought leadership. Until next time, keep leading with authenticity and impact.